My Boys Have Personality

In the early years of marriage, I had preconceived illusions of grandeur, particularly in the field of child rearing boys. I would often think....My children have so much more going for them than the average fam: two parents that will love them without limit, a mother that wants to give birth without any drugs, nurse em 'till they turn two, co-sleep with mommy and daddy until they are ready for a big boy bed, feed them organic food, homeschool them, and the list goes on.
Want to puke yet?

Fast forward to reality.

You know you are a mother of boys when...
...you regularly clean up a ring of pee around the outside bottom of the toilet and sometimes the wall. (Why is it that they can aim and hit dead center of a target with bow and arrow, yet never cease to miss the center of the porcelain god)?

You know you are a mother of boys when...
...a sibling informs you about boys hanging their barfing faces out the car window while dad is driving because they puffed one of daddy's cigars.

You know you are a mother of boys when...
...you find clumps of wet toilet paper stuck to the walls and ceiling - just to make sure it would stick;-)

You know you are a mother of boys when...
...you come out of the church building to find your six year old son driving the minivan in the parking lot, WITH SLIDING SIDE DOOR OPEN WIDE, girly sister standing inside of door frame begging to be rescued from moving vehicle.

You know you are a mother of boys when...
...your sitting in the church pew during Holy Week hoping it wasn't your son that knocked over the candlestick which in turn set the curtain behind the altar afire.

You know you are a mother of boys when...
...you notice orange markers on the neighborhood stop sign and recall that you are the only family with paintball guns in your subdivision.

You know you are a mother of boys when...
...you think your 5 year old boy is asleep and his sister informs you that he has made a web in the girls' bathroom out of the new spool of dental floss.

You know you are a mother of boys when...

...your 7 year old, after serving, got into the altar wine (because he liked the taste) and spent the day at St. Vincent hospital in detox with an alcohol concentration over the legal limit, while mommy was interrogated by social services. Come to think of it, he's the same child that accidentally set the altar curtain on fire during Holy Week.

You know you are a mother of boys when...
...you have identified holes in the wall (and in other household objects), that match the size of a bee bee bullet (sometimes the bee bee is still embedded in the wall).

You know you are a mother of boys when...
...you find Legos in diapers (yes, their poop.)

You know you are a mother of boys when...
...you retrieve tugboats from the toilet.

You know you are a mother of boys when...
...you sift through dirt and grime in the vacuum to find a favorite Lego piece that had been sucked up.

The list is endless. And without fail, I've been humbled to death by their antics. BUT, I wouldn't have it any other way. My life would be so uneventful without them and I thank God for my helpful boys!

Disclaimer-The events and/or stunts contained in this post are real. Do not attempt to duplicate any of the aforementioned.